3 Steps to Stop Being Awkward in Social Situations
Last night was the first time I went to a comedy club and it was one of the most cringe-worthy experiences.
Out of the diverse range in characters and cultures, one comedian stood out to me the most with his awkward and aggressive go-to method that made nobody laugh.
He ripped the audience to pieces (including me) and now I’m here to share 3 steps to stop being awkward in social situations because awkwardness is silly and can be solved easily.
Are you ever scared of being laughed at rather than laughed with? Research proves you’re not alone, so let’s get started:
Think before you speak
“Think before you speak. Read before you think.” — Fran Lebowitz
The comedian last night was a laughing stock. Unfortunately, he turned the crowd to hate him because of his poor effort at speaking without thinking. No manners and plain rude: a tactic not suitable for comedians who want applause. His awkward way of interacting didn’t help him, but hurt others. He called me “the yoga bitch” before I even spoke, then didn’t even make it into a joke! (I wouldn’t have minded if there was some humour in it, but he said it seriously as if yoga deeply offends him.)
Think before you speak: the secret to not show you’re weak.
Comedians aside, one step to stop being awkward in social situations is to take time; tune in, be intuitive and respective of the other person. Research shows that there isn’t one strategy to plan what to say, but we can plan our responses in different ways by being flexible and thinking in advance. We are the ones who limit ourselves here…!
I can’t count the number of times I’ve cringed at somebody blurting out a comment they think is going to be funny and fails. In a normal conversation you want a person to like you, so to avoid embarrassment, think about what you want to say — crack a joke and be sarcastic, but make sure it’s the right kind of person who can handle your banter! Be wary and be ready to engage, instead of splurging out nonsense nobody cares about.
Avoid word vomit by following the next step to stop being awkward in social situations:
Listen to the response
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” — Stephen R. Covey
This dude wasn’t listening; he was in his world. I’m no professor in the rules and regulations of comedy (I mean it was my first time attending a comedy night!), but one thing’s for sure: listen to your audience. If they are laughing, that’s a good sign. If not, you might suck and have to change it up.
The same applies when you are stuck in awkward social situations — if you don’t listen, interest is lost. Further, a tense atmosphere is created and can cause rambling for no reason. The person is there to converse with you, so chat to them, don’t just talk at them! — there’s a difference! Again, I see this happen so many times when a person will pester and poke the life out of a could-be enjoyable conversation.
Open your ears, give them a chance to talk too and find the balance between you both — isn’t that interaction?
Interaction is good for your soul. Research shows active listening is good for your well-being, so serve yourself as well as the other person.
To listen and think before you speak means you must be kind. Kindness comes from the heart, and I consider it an art. Unfortunately, this comedian could not hold himself accountable for his actions because he was under the false belief that his rude remarks were funny. He was the only one that thought so (too bad).
But his jokes could’ve been funny if he had a hint of kindness in there, leading us to the third and final step to stop being awkward in social situations:
Be kind
“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” — Dalai Lama
As a comedian, you can get away with not being kind, but in life, you won’t have friends (or at least people will fake being your friend which is much worse). Everyone can be kind, just think of children yet untouched by evils of the world. Being kind is a human instinct. I see it all the time on public transport when somebody holds the door or gives up their seat — kindness is embedded within our soul.
Kindness is energy and attracts an abundance of positive people towards you. It is also hard to respond to with arrogance. Have you ever thought that?
When showing a kind gesture towards a stranger, they are hit with a wave of happiness, of which some people cannot handle. It’s quite funny really. At this moment, I felt so bad for the comedian because the silence could’ve been cut with a knife at one point. I wanted to hug him even though he called me a bitch!
Kindness heals everyone.
So when in an awkward situation, just be kind. Solve the silence with a smile or a question. Stay curious and attentive. You never know what someone has been through, so be thoughtful and generous at all times.
Follow these three tips and you might just avoid embarrassing moments that really don’t need to be.
Trust in your human instinct and use it to be mindful, attentive and caring — the three steps to stop being awkward in social situations.
Gracey Grossmann is an English lassy residing in Berlin with a passion to help people find peace, love, and joy in life. She finds strength through God and sense through writing. Her laugh can be heard from miles away. Follow her for ways to de-stress, regain strength and encourage self-acceptance!
